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Blog > How to Use Emotional Intelligence to Give Better Feedback to Your Team

How to Use Emotional Intelligence to Give Better Feedback to Your Team

Bid farewell to ineffective, stressful, and biased feedback sessions
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Developing a high level of emotional intelligence (sometimes referred to as EI or EQ) is key to your success as a leader. Enhanced emotional intelligence leads to increased self-awareness, effective emotion management, and a deeper comprehension of others’ emotional states.

Such skills are incredibly valuable when giving feedback to your team. By grasping and implementing the principles of EI, you can turn review and feedback sessions into moments that foster trust, encourage development, elevate performance, and solidify team bonds.

4 Benefits of Infusing EI into Your Feedback

Traditional feedback methods often aren’t beneficial. According to a Forbes article, employees feel most feedback is unfair, biased, or unhelpful. However, incorporating a significant degree of EI into your feedback sessions can reap numerous advantages. Here are four critical benefits to consider.

1. Reduces Defensive Reactions

It’s all too common for team members to react poorly to negative feedback, especially if the recipient hasn’t developed their own EQ-related skills. They may not know the best way to manage their reactions and might become defensive or even hostile. You can stop a defensive response before it happens by delivering feedback in an accepting and empathetic environment based on understanding and support rather than blame.

2. Improves Employee Engagement

Employees who feel appreciated and understood tend to exhibit higher levels of engagement. This heightened engagement boosts motivation, productivity, and dedication to the company. If you encounter retention challenges, the root cause might lie in emotional intelligence.

3. Cultivates a Growth Mindset

Delivering feedback emphasizing emotional intelligence cultivates a growth mindset within the team. This approach alleviates the fear of criticism, empowering employees to take risks and excel in their roles.

4. Builds Trust

Using an emotionally intelligent approach with team members strengthens trust, nurtures robust relationships, and enhances collaboration and teamwork.

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Key Drivers of EI in Feedback

To implement EI-based feedback, you’ll need to focus on the following five key drivers.

SelfAwareness

It’s crucial to be aware of your emotions and cognitive biases and how they might be impacting your feedback; if they are, learn to regulate them so you can provide feedback only from a fact-based mindset.

Empathy

Put yourself in the feedback recipient’s shoes. What’s their perspective? Why have they performed the way they have (either positively or negatively)? How might they respond to your feedback? Anticipate their needs and reasoning.

SelfRegulation

No matter what might happen during the feedback session, regulate your own emotions. Even if the recipient responds poorly, you need to be in control of yourself.

Social Skills

Don’t just focus on what you say to your feedback recipient. For any EI-related effort to be effective, communication must be a give-and-take. Practice active or empathetic listening to understand the other person’s emotions and needs.

Motivation

Always stay focused on the positive. View any negative factors as motivation for growth.

11 Steps for Delivering Feedback with EI

Beyond considering the above five key drivers of EI as you deliver feedback, follow these 11 steps, divided into pre-feedback session, feedback session, and post-feedback session necessities.

1. Preparation: Define Your Objectives

Before scheduling a feedback session, define what you want to get out of it and what you want the recipient to get out of it. Do you need to correct their behavior? Recognize achievements? Find out if there’s any way you can support them? Or a mix of all the above?

2. Preparation: Gather Relevant Information

Remember — EI-based feedback shouldn’t be based on feelings but on facts. For any feedback provided, give data and specific examples that support it.

3. Preparation: Reflect on Your Emotions

Before the feedback session begins, check in with yourself to see if negative emotions arise (such as frustration, anger, or disappointment) and set them aside so you can focus solely on the facts.

4. During Feedback: Create a Safe Environment

Create an environment where your recipient feels comfortable and safe. Avoid settings that may make them distracted, overwhelmed, or intimidated.

5. During Feedback: Start with Positives

Always begin the conversation with what the employee is doing well. Again, give specific examples and data to back this up.

6. During Feedback: Be Specific with Construction

If you work your way into negative feedback, always make it constructive. Give specific examples, and then give similar recommendations about what the employee should have done differently.

7. During Feedback: Use “I” Statements

Don’t base your statements around the recipient. That can lead to defensiveness. Instead of saying, “You missed three of your deadlines,” say, “I noticed three deadlines were missed.” Instead of saying, “Your work is not meeting expectations,” try, “I’ve noticed some challenges in meeting expectations. Can we discuss what might be impacting this and how I can support you?”

8. During Feedback: Be Mindful of NonVerbal Cues

You don’t just communicate with your words. Ensure that your non-verbal communication is equally positive, open, and non-threatening. Maintain eye contact, nod, and don’t cross your arms.

9. PostFeedback: Encourage a TwoWay Conversation

After you provide your feedback, don’t just leave the meeting there. Allow the recipient to share their perspective and ask open-ended questions to gauge their emotions.

10. PostFeedback: Follow Up

After the meeting, be sure to follow up regularly to see how the feedback took hold and what further steps need to be taken.

11. PostFeedback: Offer Support

Be sure to provide support to help the team member actually accomplish what you’d like to see in the future.

The Bottom Line

Delivering feedback with emotional intelligence is more than a technique; it’s a transformative approach that fosters a culture of trust, growth, and continuous improvement. By understanding and managing your own emotions and empathizing with others, you can create a more positive and productive environment.

To learn more about EI, sign up for our upcoming Emotional Intelligence Panel on October 10th at 6 PM EST. Can’t wait? Hop onto an executive coaching call with an Arootah coach today.

Get practical strategies you can apply for personal and professional growth. Sign up for The Weekly Return newsletter today.

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Disclaimer: This article is for general informational purposes only and is not intended to be and should not be taken as professional medical, psychological, legal, investment, financial, accounting, or tax advice. Arootah does not warrant or guarantee the accuracy, reliability, completeness, or suitability of its content for a particular purpose. Please do not act or refrain from acting based on anything you read in our newsletter, blog or anywhere else on our website.

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