Stop Wasting Resources: How to Overcome the Sunk Cost Fallacy in Relationships

As a driven professional, your persistence and loyalty fuel your success. But those same strengths can quietly trap you—keeping you invested in relationships that no longer serve your goals. Recognizing when this is at play can free you to make decisions that protect your time, energy, and, ultimately, your success. Here’s what you need to know.

How to Spot Sunk Cost Fallacy

If you’ve ever thought, “I’ve already put too much into this to leave now,” you’re likely caught in the sunk cost fallacy—anchored to the past instead of investing in your future.

The sunk cost fallacy or sunk cost bias is one of the costliest cognitive biases. It refers to the tendency to see something through because of the resources (time, money, energy) you have already invested.

Professionally, you may have stuck with a client or team out of loyalty despite knowing deep down that it no longer supports your career or business goals. What once felt like a great fit now feels misaligned and continues to drain resources.

On the personal side, you might be in a long-term romantic relationship that looks solid on paper but doesn’t feel right anymore. You’ve invested years, and starting over feels uncomfortable, if not downright embarrassing. The same goes for long-time platonic friendships: you’ve grown in different directions, but history makes it difficult to walk away.

10 Questions to Ask Yourself for Clarity

These 10 questions help you cut through emotional noise so you can make decisions that protect your time, energy, and career momentum.

1. If I Met This Person Today, Would I Still Choose to Build This Relationship?

Set history aside. If this relationship didn’t already exist, would you actively choose to build it today? Would it align with your goals, values, and the person you’re becoming? Would you choose to be in the same job you’re in now or the same romantic relationship?

2. Am I Compromising Too Much?

If you’re constantly managing conflict, carrying the weight, or expending energy to maintain balance, it’s not a true partnership. The best relationships are reciprocal and growth-oriented.

3. What Am I Holding Onto?

Ask yourself what’s really keeping you in the relationship. Is it comfort? Hope for change? Or genuine value in how the relationship looks today? Clarity comes from precision, not wishful thinking.

4. Am I Staying Because of What It Was or Because of What It is Now?

Be honest about what this relationship is, not what it was. It’s easy to romanticize a partnership that once felt energizing or meaningful. Maybe that client used to bring big wins, or that friend was always supportive. Now, the relationship drains more energy than it gives back.

5. Is Loyalty Here Costing Me Elsewhere?

Consider what staying is costing you. What opportunities are you missing? Is staying with your partner just because it feels comfortable keeping you from meeting someone who’s a better fit? Be honest.

6. Who Am I Becoming by Staying in This — and Is That Who I Want to Be?

Take a close look at how the relationship is shaping your identity. Is it bringing out the traits you want to cultivate? Or is it triggering behaviors you’d rather leave behind? The right relationships (in all areas of life) elevate who you are and who you’re becoming.

7. Is This Relationship Aligned with My Future Goals?

The relationship may have served you very well in the past. It helped you get to where you are now. However, if you’re trying to reach that next phase in your life, you likely need to set new goals, boundaries, and standards that the relationship might not be compatible with anymore.

8. What Am I Afraid I’ll Lose if I Walk Away — and is That Fear Rational or Emotional?

Fear of leaving often stems from imagined consequences, not real ones. For example, you might worry about judgment from friends and family or think you’re too old to start over. Professionally, you may fear retaliation or damage to your reputation if you walk away from a client.

But most of these fears are unfounded. Separate real risks from imagined ones and make decisions based on what truly serves your growth and success.

9. What Would I Tell Someone if They Were in My Shoes?

The answer to what you should do often becomes clear when considering what advice you’d give a friend if they were in your shoes. Would you urge them to move on?

10. Do I Trust Myself to Make the Brave Decision, even if It’s Uncomfortable?

Remember, growth always comes with a cost, just like stagnation. Trust yourself to make tough decisions, even if they cause short-term discomfort. It will be worth it.

The Bottom Line

Letting go of misaligned relationships is a strategic move to reclaim your edge, focus on high-impact opportunities, and accelerate your personal and professional growth. Take a hard look at your connections and ask yourself if the sunk cost fallacy is holding you back from progress.

Ready to break free from misaligned relationships and fuel your growth? Our expert coaches provide tailored strategies that help high performers confidently navigate complex dynamics. Book your complimentary call to learn more!